Carlson Rambler

While I am feeling sad and strange, I am kept busy by all the phone calls, paper work, sorting out of belongings.  I am grateful to family, friends acquaintances who have reached out to me.

This weekend, some of my family will be flying in to reunite and share in a celebration of Kent's life.  I am fortunate to have such caring people in my life.

Thank you.

I went to Kent's foster care home at 8 this morning.  He was still gasping for air until 9:15 and then stopped.  I was with him, but doubt he knew.  Just in case he could hear me, I am glad I was with him until the end.

I waited for the Funeral Home to arrive and get Kent.  Had to fill out some papers too.  Now all the struggling and dementia-confusion is over.  I feel sad and numb and just strange.  I am all talked out for today and just want to sit and eat my lunch.  I appreciate all of you caring and liking Kent.  I will be talking with you soon.

I just got a call from Kent's care-giver.  He is breathing with difficulty, so Hospice will be giving him morphine as needed.  I will be going there soon, so he isn't alone.  I thought he was having trouble yesterday too.  I will tell Kent that all his family and friends love him.

It's 4th of July, but still quiet around my house.  Kent looks so frail to me.  We made some eye contact, he drank some water, I covered his feet, which were cold, talked a bit to him and then he just fell asleep.  The care-giver told me he ate some cottage cheese and fruit for breakfast.  I left him with a heavy heart.

I will visit in the morning tomorrow to see him when he is more wide awake.  If any of you want me to relay messages from you, I will be glad to.  He seems to like short anecdotes.

I usually like to watch fireworks, but just don't feel like it tonight.  But I hope you enjoy them.

Kent is sleeping more of the time.  Swallowing is a bit difficult, so he only eats a little and sips water and nutritional drinks throughout the day.  He likes when I hold his hand and talk to him, but he wasn't fully alert today.  He still is a sweetie.  I miss Liz being with me when I visit Kent, because she distracted me from my sadness.

One of the residential care-givers at Kent's foster home broke her ankle today, so the owner has to scramble to find a temporary replacement.  She is filling in for the meantime.  She hadn't tripped or fallen, just must have stepped wrong.  She has some kind of chronic ailment that might have affected her muscle or joint.  She's only in her early 20's too.

Tomorrow is bath day for the 2 residents in Hospice Care (Kent included).  I like that it breaks the time up.  I've been told that sometimes Kent has slept through it.  I hope when he is awake that he likes the feeling of warm water on his skin.

All for now.  I hope all of my readers are taking good care of themselves.

Liz and I had a fairly good visit with Kent.  He was more alert than yesterday.  While we were there, Katie, the residential care-giver, was in the room telling us about all her animals she has at home.  She is considering bringing in her male duck to visit the foster home residents some day.  Kent seemed very interested in hearing about how the duck became a very tamed pet.  I want to see her duck and at a later time, her miniature goats too.

I liked seeing Kent so responsive.  He was even making jokes.  Mostly he uses facial expressions with just a few words.  He still has beautiful blue eyes and today I go to see them wide open.

All for now.  Liz and I are dining out with some friends from Corvallis.

Thank you for all your good thoughts.

   Kent seemed to enjoy pictures of butterflies in a book from his sister that Liz was showing him.  He only seemed semi-alert today.  He wanted us to do something with his feet, but we couldn't understand what.

    I was pleased that Hospice had sent in a person to clip Kent's long toe nails.  At least it cut off some of the fungus.  I am impressed with the many helpers that Lumina Hospice has available.

   It must be frustrating for Kent not to have his words understood.  Sad.